| I’m the meanest man that ever had a brain,
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| All I scatter is aches and pains.
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| I’m carbolic acid, and a poison face,
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| And I stand flat-footed in favor of crime and disgrace.
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| If I ever done a good deed -- I’m sorry of it.
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| I’m mean in the East, mean in the West,
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| Mean to the people that I like the best.
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| I go around a-causin' lot of accidents,
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| And I push folks down, and I cause train wrecks.
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| I’m a big disaster -- just goin' somewhere’s to happen.
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| I’m an organized famine -- studyin' now I can be a little bit meaner.
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| I’m still a whole lot too good to suit myself -- just mean…
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| I ride around on the subway trains,
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| Laughin' at the tight shoes dealin' you pain.
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| And I laugh when the car shakes from side to side,
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| I laugh my loudest when other people cry.
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| Can’t help it -- I was born good, I guess,
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| Just like you or anybody else ---
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| But then I… just turned off mean.
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| I hate ev’rybody don’t think like me,
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| And I’d rather see you dead than I’d ever see you free.
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| Rather see you starved to death
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| Than see you at work --
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| And I’m readin' all the books I can
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| To learn how to hurt --
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| Daily Misery -- spread diseases,
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| Keep you without no vote,
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| Keep you without no union.
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| Well, I hurt when I see you gettin' 'long so well,
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| I’d ten times rather see you in the fires of hell.
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| I can’t stand to fixed… see you there all fixed up in that house so nice,
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| I’d rather keep you in that rotten hole, with the bugs and the lice,
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| And the roaches, and the termites,
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| And the sand fleas, and the tater bugs,
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| And the grub worms, and the stingarees,
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| And the tarantulas, and the spiders, childs of the earth,
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| The ticks and the blow-flies --
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| These is all of my little angels
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| That go 'round helpin' me do the best parts of my meanness.
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| And mosquiters…
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| Well, I used to be a pretty fair organized feller,
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| Till I turned a scab and then I turned off yeller,
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| Fought ev’ry union with teeth and toenail,
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| And I sprouted a six-inch stinger right in the middle of the tail,
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| And I growed horns…
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| And then I cut 'em off, I wanted to fool you.
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| I hated union ever’where,
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| 'Cause God likes unions
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| And I hate God!
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| Well, if I can get the fat to hatin' the lean
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| That’d tickle me more than anything I’ve seen,
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| Then get the colors to fightin' one another,
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| And friend against friend, and brother… and sister against brother,
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| That’ll be just it.
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| Everybody’s brains a-boilin' in turpentine,
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| And their teeth fallin' out all up and down the streets,
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| That’ll just suit me fine.
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| 'Cause I hate ever’thing that’s union,
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| And I hate ever’thing that’s organized,
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| And I hate ever’thing that’s planned,
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| And I love to hate and I hate to love!
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| I’m mean, I’m just mean… |