| Still reside) at number fifteen, a secret location somewhere in Inverness.
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| Beware you may
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| End up there!
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| Let me take you up these stairs
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| Let me introduce you to another world
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| Let me lead you through these doors
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| Let me tell you of the stories that they keep
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| Chorus:
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| For the crazy, it’s a magnet
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| From a distance, you can sense it Won’t you come on in and view it from this side
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| Me and Davie, we’re not crazy
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| Was a man here, he was lazy
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| Come and view the scene from across the great divide
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| Let me show you where to come
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| It’s an open house where no one has to leave
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| Where united nations talk
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| All the many languages they speak
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| Chorus
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| We can show you how to dance
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| We can teach you rhythms right down to your feet
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| No you won’t believe your eyes
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| When I show you all the secrets that it keeps
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| Chorus
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| There is none of us that’s mad
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| It just seems that way when you open up the door
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| Well it would never make you sad
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| Cause the people who pass through come back for more |