| A beard, a beard, a beard, a beard
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| A beard don’t make you a man
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| No it takes something else
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| Something I’ll never have
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| And a beer, a beer, a beer, a beer
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| A beer makes you feel good
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| Like if you wanted you could
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| Kick anybody’s ass
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| A knife, a knife, a knife, a knife
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| A knife makes you feel strong
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| With a gun you’re never wrong
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| Everybody try to stay calm
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| I think the safety’s on
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| A car, a car, a car, a car
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| A car means you can go
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| Whenever you want to
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| With an FM radio
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| Guitars, guitars, guitars, guitars
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| Guitars, Thin Lizzy rocks
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| So dust off your old stompbox
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| And we’ll run it through your Vox amplifier
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| Cos you’re tired, you’re tired, you’re tired, you’re tired
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| You’re tired of feeling sad
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| Your disappointed, hurt and mad
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| And all the poetry you’ve written is bad
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| Because a pen, a pen, a pen, a pen
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| A pen don’t mean you can write
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| You’re no fucking John Updike
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| Even if you spell it right
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| Just like a hardon, a hardon, a hardon, a hardon, a hardon
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| A hardon don’t mean you’re in love
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| Cos when the pushing comes to shove
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| Do you really want to be there? |