| It might come in a letter
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| Darkness falls in a telephone call;
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| I await the unexpected
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| With one ear to the party wall
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| Is it the pricking of the conscience
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| Is it the itching of hair shirt
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| Is it the dictionary definition
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| Of a precipice to skirt?
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| It’s the nutter alert
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| Though this face is familiar
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| Something in it has bred contempt;
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| I never asked for your opinion
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| Or your back-handed compliments
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| Oh, but here comes that special nonsense
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| All the words out in a spurt
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| The unhinging of the trolley
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| As the mouth begins to blurt…
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| It’s the nutter alert
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| I can see we’re in trouble
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| From that glint in the eye you’ve got;
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| There’s no sense to the story
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| Comprehensively lost, the plot
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| And how contorted is that logic
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| You so forcefully exert:
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| You’re a car crash in the making
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| Head-on, that’s a racing cert
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| It’s the nutter alert
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| This is the nutter alert |