| Soon as you like, ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats | 
| In a moment there’ll be a test of your endurance | 
| Stay in your chairs in the event of a dramatic pause | 
| Please be aware nothing gets covered by insurance | 
| One final thing: | 
| Please take the trouble to read through your notes | 
| It’s important that you know where you’ve got to go to | 
| Wait a moment, maybe the usherette’ll show you | 
| Such excitement, these are the hoops you’ve got to go through… | 
| The noises off that turn you on stage whispered from the wings | 
| A stifled cough, a joke that bombs, a smoldering fuse wire string | 
| When Mr. Sands is in the house the alarm bells start to ring | 
| Everything’s in code | 
| In a world we barely know | 
| And the truth is only slowly revealed… | 
| With best intentions I have strayed far off the beaten track | 
| And of attention I displayed a quite spectacular lack | 
| Now Mr. Sands is in the house and the panic button’s smacked | 
| Well, Mr. Sands is in the house: commotion in the stalls | 
| And, from the gods, unruly shouts that echo round the hall | 
| Yes, someone’s let the secret out… the safety curtain falls | 
| And as I look across the stage the thought that first occurs | 
| Is less that we have come of age and more that we’re preserved | 
| To pass our time in different shades of ignorant reserve | 
| Everything’s in code | 
| Till the moment it explodes | 
| We suspend belief, get ready to go | 
| For the playout of the show — | 
| Here it is for all we know | 
| Mr Sands is always ready to roll |