| But first, allow me to tell you a little bit more about myself. |
| If you want to
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| climb a ladder you have to start at the bottom. |
| We all know how a ladder works
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| don’t we? |
| Born and raised a sort of military brat I saw the world from my crib.
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| Belgium, The Czech Republic, and so much more. |
| It’s obvious the last
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| deployment my father had, the one to really stick culturally was that of the
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| Queen’s Britannia. |
| My father’s constant upheaval of the family certainly didn’t
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| allow me to remain clutching the silver spoon when I sat down in the morning
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| with my Belgian waffle dipped in cream
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| But these circumstances paired with my beloved mother’s angelic and prolific
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| doting instilled a variety of social skills, only a nomadic wanderer of the
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| like could develop
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| Without these skills I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to work with such a
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| Thoughtful
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| Generous
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| Handsome
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| Congenital
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| Conceptual
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| Untimely bunch as I do now
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| In the beginning the pay was quite shit. |
| But that’s how it is on the lower
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| rungs of life’s ladder. |
| For an inexperienced voice it was a chance to use all
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| the practice talking I’ve done my entire life. |
| For free mind you,
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| to start down my own thought-path of success. |
| It may have been a bumpy road
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| but I sure talked my way around any obstacle that would arise
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| I did it all; |
| from announcements of break times at Sunbelt’s Cellular
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| Engineering facilities to answering calls at the clubs switchboard,
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| barely a promotion above pencil sharpener. |
| To product description voice overs
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| and Not. |
| Pen. |
| Co’s torrid infomercials
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| Yes! |
| That was me describing the comfort of the
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| Convenient-Caddy-Hypoallergenic-Body-Mop and the incredible ease of the
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| Dripless-Perception-Enhancing-Beutification-Dropper
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| I made viewers foam at the mouth while grasping tightly onto their phones.
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| This did not go unnoticed. |
| The ladder was mine for the taking as my talent was
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| discovered by management. |
| He told his manager, and she told hers.
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| And pretty soon they all told theirs and the name Michael was on the tips of
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| all the important tongues at the Bermuda triangle of select-able perception
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| The Belt
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| The Club
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| And the, well, Not. |
| Pen. |
| Co
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| With the local chapter’s House Band gaining notoriety amonxed them beyond their
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| peers, I was approached with a challenge of sorts and another step up the
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| all-knowing ladder. |
| I was to be a spokes-voice for the club as it’s group
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| ventured into very new territory. |
| That’s right, another record. |
| They have done
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| it before and that was new territory as well, at the time. |
| But it grew old!
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| Boring, tiresome, so they did as many of us do, the same thing,
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| but rather a little different this time. |
| Enter Michael. |
| With a fresh,
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| and very different, what’s the word, thing!, Different from the first and
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| different from the last at the same time
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| The golden voice that tickles the eardrums like Tito Puente on his conga
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| Look At Me Now
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| Look. |
| At. |
| Me. |
| Now
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| And look up at me now! |
| So lofty on the ladder. |
| Promotions may include more
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| responsibility, like keeping a listener entertained for an entire song.
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| But what else is there to strive for but advancement before we all take a long
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| nap in the dirt. |
| Besides, I have plenty to talk about. |
| You’d have to be to be a
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| vegetable not to have a litany of subjects to shout about in the modern world,
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| and I am of course a litigious and modern Michael. |
| Can you imagine the
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| egregious amounts of information poured onto my plate on a daily basis.
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| Unless I’m speaking in tongues to those who died in the earths upper-most
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| layer of crust, I believe you can
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| So much to talk about that I can’t possibly pick one topic
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| I mean it
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| Not a one
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| This often happens to me, my train of though slows, the stuttered choo choo as
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| my mind gathers up what’s in my lap and tries to make sense of it all
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| In a world born of conflict and competitors starved for your attention as
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| you’re studied and targeted, rather effectively, how does one remain breathing
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| without going mad? |
| The modern man chooses their brand of madness,
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| while the modern men argue over the best brands. |
| I have chosen to enter a sort
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| of «climbing the ladder» reality. |
| When the world continues in chaos,
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| I’ll always have my delirious goal
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| You may laugh at my choice, but I take comfort knowing that you simply don’t
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| understand my version of delusion. |
| And when all is said and done,
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| the mindset I’ve engaged is the only that can lead someone to such grand
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| tutelage
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| Boss, President, Prime Minister, Figurehead, even, dare I say, King. |
| Imagine it.
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| Michael at the doors the penthouse as he commands the inevitable
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| King me |