| Real nigga shit
|
| Fuck, ain’t shit on the fucking TV, my momma would call me right now
|
| Who you on the phone with?
|
| Uh, my mama. |
| Who else?
|
| Oh, alright. |
| Baby, can you fix the roof in the back?
|
| (Baby can you fix the roof, the roof)
|
| Hey man, come on with all that shit, man. |
| I ain’t no god damn «Rico the Roof
|
| Man,» alright?
|
| (Baby, can you fix the roof, baby?)
|
| Tch, ooh, well excuse me then!
|
| Yeah, you’re excused, yeah, I know, uh-huh
|
| (TWO DAYS LATER)
|
| Hey, baby. |
| Can you come help me in the kitchen real quick? |
| I think there’s
|
| something wrong with the fuckin' sink
|
| Hey, man. |
| I do not have on a shirt that says «Solomon the fucking Sink Man.
|
| I don’t. |
| I mean, come on now. |
| The fuck
|
| Damn, babe. |
| Alright…
|
| (ONE WEEK LATER)
|
| Well, damn, this motherfucking place look crazy as hell. |
| Anyways, man
|
| Baby, can you move them dishes off the table before you sit down?
|
| …awwh, fuck…
|
| Man, come on with that shit, man! |
| (Oh, nevermind, nevermind…) Hell you
|
| talking about «nevermind»?! |
| Always asking me to do something, fuck I look like,
|
| man? |
| Motherfucking Danny the Dish Man, ain’t playing with yo ass, nigga!
|
| Fuck you thought this was? |
| Fuck outta here. |
| Motherfucking dishes,
|
| fuck these dishes!
|
| Man, what is his problem now? |
| I know he know I like him, right?
|
| Yeah, he gotta know that. |
| Like, I don’t have to deal with this…
|
| I mean, to be honest, I’m not dealing with this. |
| I’m just not dealing with
|
| this!
|
| (THE FOLLOWING WEEK)
|
| Oh, shit! |
| God damn! |
| That girl done cleaned the motherfucker up. |
| Damn. |
| Hm
|
| What’s up, Keysha? |
| What’s going on? |
| The place look good, what’s up?
|
| What’s up?
|
| I mean I’m just sayin', I mean…
|
| What you mean, «What's up?» |
| I mean, damn!
|
| How did the place get fixed up, you know what I’m sayin'? |
| Like damn,
|
| we ain’t talked in like a week
|
| I’m just saying, I mean, what’s up???
|
| Since we «What's up?"-ing and shit
|
| Oh, well, the neighbor did it
|
| What the fuck you mean the -- the neighbor did -- Hey, man, hey,
|
| I don’t know what the fuck you got going on, whatchu…
|
| What did he charge? |
| What did he charge? |
| What the fuck did he charge?
|
| I mean, he didn’t charge us anything. |
| He told me, either I can bake him a cake,
|
| or I can have sex with him
|
| *smack* What the fuck?!
|
| Aw, shit, baby… baby, you gotta get up. |
| Baby, aw, man, you gotta stop crying,
|
| man, I hate it when you cry and shit. |
| Look, look, baby, baby, baby,
|
| I don’t even -- I don’t even know what to say. |
| What do you want me to -- What
|
| do you want me to say?!?
|
| What kind of cake did you make him?!
|
| What kind of cake did you make him?
|
| A cake, eh? |
| Well, unfortunately, my name is not Carrie the Cake Maker |