| Ah, here’s to the man who’s got no name,
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| Just a face in the crowd, looking just the same to me.
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| Everywhere I go, I know who I am.
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| Now, here’s to the man who smiles at me,
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| As he shakes my hand so vigorously.
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| He can’t figure me out if I’m «A,» or «B,» or «C.»
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| Ah, here’s to the man in the polka-dot necktie,
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| Don’t quite understand, ah, but what the heck, I
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| Don’t give a damn 'cause I know who I am.
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| Universal facts apply or philosophy, now
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| And if you need a heart transplant, I’m definitely the man to see.
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| Ah, here’s to the girl who loved them all
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| And I found her number on the bathroom wall
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| And it said I could call anytime after 6 P.M.
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| Ah, here’s to the guy who’s got chapped lips
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| From eating too many potato chips
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| And I cracked up when he smiled at me and almost bled to death.
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| Yes, I know who I am. |
| Yes, I know who I am.
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| Yes, I know who I am.
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| Yes, I know who I am. |
| Yes, I know who I am. |