| You wake up in the morning drink a beer and take a Valium
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| And you’re trying to forget about the things you did last night
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| Flip through the morning paper read the horoscope and the comics
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| You’re as well informed as anybody on the left or the right
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| You make it to your job and hear Atlanta lost another
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| How can you lose while making half a million bucks or near
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| The old man who sweeps the floor and wears a big blue Reagan button
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| Says the Russians are a coming but they’ve been here for years
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| Trying everything from Jesus to Jack Daniels it’s the all new American diet
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| Trying everything from Jesus to Jack Daniels
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| You get on it and you’re on it for the rest of your life
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| There’s a story in the paper about a man who killed his family
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| He jumped off a bridge because he couldn’t take it anymore
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| Down at the local tavern a young man comes in limpin'
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| And he claims that he’s a veteran of the Falkland Islands war
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| You head home and you’re accosted by a youngster wearin' robes
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| And wanting money for his God who sits upon a plastic throne
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| You ignore him if you can and make it to the local tavern
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| Where you order up a drink and give some money to your own
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| Trying everything from Jesus…
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| There’s a man in Tennessee who’s got it figured out completely
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| I guess that he’s as happy as a thinking man can be
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| I asked him what he thought and he said brother let me tell you
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| Try a little bit of both and leave out everything in between
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| Trying everything from Jesus… |