| Playstation.
|
| Deep Silver. |
| Still.
|
| Get a good look at the road I’ma run on.
|
| Shoes tied nice, make sure there’s no dirt on em.
|
| Yeah. |
| That’s perfect.
|
| Check it out.
|
| Both legs.
|
| Kick it out.
|
| Get ready.
|
| Stretch it out.
|
| Close up on the bulge.
|
| Do the washing machine.
|
| Close up on the bulge.
|
| Feel the bulge.
|
| Pat the bulge.
|
| Good bulge.
|
| Living the dream.
|
| Crack the neck twice.
|
| Perfect eyebrows? |
| Check.
|
| Perfect teeth? |
| Check.
|
| Perfect hair that blows in the wind? |
| Check.
|
| Insignificant flesh wound?
|
| Cover it up with the white and gold.
|
| Turn it up.
|
| Show the gold. |
| Yeah.
|
| Close up on a Picture Perfect Fitness Guy.
|
| Listening to music while he exercises.
|
| Look down at his muscles periodically.
|
| Gotta make sure he’s the best thing on the beach.
|
| I’ma jog right until I throw up. |
| (Hooo)
|
| I’ma jog right until I throw up.
|
| Sees a lady — indicates he got a sweet six-pack.
|
| Assume that she liked it but don’t look back.
|
| She didn’t like that, she don’t like it neither
|
| when a couple zombies come out and start to eat her.
|
| I’ma jog right until I throw up. |
| (Hooo)
|
| I’ma jog right until I throw up.
|
| I’ma jog right until I throw up. |
| (Hooo hooooo)
|
| I’ma jog right until I throw up.
|
| Then Hawaiian Shirt Hat guy’s shotgun blasts
|
| kill every zombie in the whole city ('cept that one)
|
| (and the ones in the background)
|
| (there's a lot, actually)
|
| He failed.
|
| He’s dead.
|
| That sucks.
|
| Shit.
|
| Here come the VIP zombies on their stretch limo.
|
| Disregarding safety doing
|
| Venice Beach donuts.
|
| Lumberjackin Limo driver fells a tree.
|
| A News helicopter shoots in 360 degrees.
|
| Thanks the zombies for the arial shot. |
| (Hoo)
|
| This segment’s probably gonna blow up.
|
| Oh noo. |
| Oh noo.
|
| Then Picture Perfect Fitness Guy gets varicose veins.
|
| Still living the dream, just with less living.
|
| Crack the neck two more times and then,
|
| open up and show them pearly whites again.
|
| Zombie loses his new Donald Trump wig.
|
| Arm rejects artificial bicep thing.
|
| I’ma jog right until I throw up. |
| (Oooh)
|
| Zombie eyes then start to fog up.
|
| Picture Perfect Fitness Guy’s slightly less perfect now.
|
| Hawaiian Shirt Hat guy looks about the same. |
| (GRANDMA!)
|
| Car-jumping zombie jumps on a car — that’s his thing.
|
| HotHot Roller Skating Zombie starts spinning. |
| (Baseball-bat swing)
|
| Someone call security. |
| Oh, you did.
|
| Someone call the zombie with the boogie-board. |
| Oh you did.
|
| Someone call Scooby Doo!
|
| … How is that relevant?
|
| Why don’t you ask him yourself.
|
| From the background comes the Mystery Machine.
|
| Cause Scooby Doo’s team’s not afraid of nothing.
|
| It’s time for your close up.
|
| Darkness. |
| Darkness. |
| Darkness.
|
| Well, at least I still have my shoes. |
| Aheh.
|
| Aww man.
|
| What is that sound?
|
| You… ohh. |
| you better not —
|
| you put… you put my FOOT down.
|
| You ain’t not gon' take my shoes… MAN!
|
| I LOST my TOUPEE, my implanted bicep,
|
| and this man just pulls up in the Mystery Machine? |
| Man.
|
| «Get the Body You Deserve,»
|
| says the perfect picture of the Picture Perfect guy
|
| from back when Picture Perfect guy was Picture Perfect.
|
| Picture Perfect.
|
| Picture Perfect. |
| (Oh no) |