| Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I
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| And let’s face it, who isn’t less fortunate than I?
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| My tender heart tends to start to bleed
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| And when someone needs a makeover
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| I simply have to take over
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| I know, I know exactly what they need
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| And even in your case
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| Though it’s the toughest case I’ve yet to face
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| Don’t worry, I’m determined to succeed
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| Follow my lead
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| And yes, indeed
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| You will be
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| Popular
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| You’re gonna be popular
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| I’ll teach you the proper poise when you talk to boys
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| Little ways to flirt and flounce (Rachel: Ooh)
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| I’ll show you what shoes to wear
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| How to fix your hair
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| Everything that really counts to be popular
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| I’ll help you be popular
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| You’ll hang with the right cohorts
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| You’ll be good at sports
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| Know the slang you’ve got to know
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| So let’s start
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| Cause you’ve got an awfully long way to go
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| Don’t be offended by my frank analysis
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| (Think of it as personality dialysis)
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| Now that I’ve chosen to become a pal, a sister and adviser
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| There’s nobody wiser
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| Not when it comes to
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| Popular
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| I know about popular
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| And with an assist from me
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| To be who you’ll be
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| Instead of dreary who you were
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| Well are
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| There’s nothing that can stop you
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| From becoming popular (-Lar)
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| La la, la la
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| We’re gonna make you popular
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| When I see depressing creatures
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| With unprepossessing features
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| I remind them on their own behalf
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| To think of
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| Celebrated heads of state
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| Or specially great communicators
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| Did they have brains or knowledge?
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| Don’t make me laugh
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| Haha
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| They were popular
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| Please
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| It’s all about popular
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| It’s not about aptitude
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| It’s the way you’re viewed
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| So it’s very shrewd to be
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| Very, very popular
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| Like me (Hihihi)
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| Why?
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| Miss Elphaba
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| Look at you
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| You’re beautiful
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| I-I have to go
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| You’re welcome
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| And though you protest
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| Your disinterest
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| I know clandestinely
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| You’re gonna grin and bear it
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| Your new found popularity (Ah)
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| La la la la
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| You’ll be popular
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| Just not quite as popular as me |