Lyrics Dentist! - The Theatreland Chorus

Dentist!

When I was younger, just a bad little kid
My mama noticed funny things I did
Like shooting puppies with a B.B. gun
I’d poison guppies and when I was done
I’d find a pussycat and bash in its head
That’s when my mama said
What did she say?
She said, «My boy, I think someday
You’ll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay»
«You'll be a dentist
You have a talent for causing things pain
Son, be a dentist
People will pay you to be inhumane.»
«You'll be a dentist
Pain
Son, be a dentist
Inhumane»
Your temperament’s wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist
You’ll be a success
Here he is, folks the leader of the plaque!
Watch him suck up that gas!
Oh, my god!
He’s a dentist and he’ll never ever be any good
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?
Oh that hurts!
I’m not numb!
Oh, shut up.
Open wide.
here I come!
«I am your dentist
And I enjoy the career that I picked
I am your dentist
And I get off on the pain I inflict
When I start extracting those molars
You girls will be screaming like holy rollers»
«Dentist, goodness gracious
Love it
Dentist, fitting braces
You really love it
Don’t try it
Ooh-aah"
Dentist!
And though it may cause my patients distress
Somewhere in heaven above me, I know, I know that my mama’s proud of me
'Cause I’m a dentist- and a success
(spoken)
Say ah
Ahh
Say ah!
Ahh!
Now spit