| It was supposed to be so easy
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| Just take back the DVD, withdraw that extra money
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| Tell mum I wouldn’t be back for tea, then grab my savings and hurry
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| So first to get the film back in time, to avoid that big fine
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| I had to do a fast hill climb, but a faster decline
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| But I flew a bit quick, arms like a lunatic
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| Had to stop for a few ticks, I started feeling sick
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| Got to the video shop in a state, but chuffed it wouldn’t be late
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| Only when he flicked open the case, I’d left the disc at my place
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| Today I’ve achieved absolutely nought
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| In just being out of the house, I’ve lost out
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| If I wanted to end up with more now
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| I should’ve just stayed in bed, like I know how
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| So I failed on the DVD, but I still had to get the money
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| Tell mum I couldn’t make tea, get the saving and then hurry
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| Rushing to the cash machine, still a bit mashed and lean
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| Then of course a mandatory car, drives by and splashes me
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| Get there the queue’s outrageous, ladies taking ages
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| My rage is blowing gauges, how longs it take to validate your wages?
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| At last my turn comes, press the 50 squid button
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| Insufficient funds
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| Today I’ve achieved absolutely nought
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| In just being out of the house, I’ve lost out
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| If I wanted to end up with more now
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| I should’ve just stayed in bed, like I know how
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| So I failed on the DVD, couldn’t withdraw any money
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| But I still had to call mum, get the savings and hurry
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| So to call mum so that, I could tell her I cant go and that
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| At least I remembered my phone man, I didn’t know her number offhand
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| Where’s my phone have I got it, Oh this is a crock of shit
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| I lost the fucking thing, oh here it is in my pocket
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| But the batteries nearly flat, gotta call quick snap
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| Aww shit, the battery is flat
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| Today I’ve achieved absolutely nought
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| In just being out of the house, I’ve lost out
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| If I wanted to end up with more now
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| I should’ve just stayed in bed, like I know how
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| So Ive failed on the DVD, couldnt withdraw any money
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| Or call mum about tea, I’ll have to get the savings and hurry
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| But where was the money, I knew I’d left it on the
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| Side, next to the telly, this is not even funny
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| I left it in the living room, ready to pick up as soon
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| As I passed through, on the way out to the rendevous
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| So the shoebox full of money, just disappearing from me
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| Is not what I call funny, a grand dont come for free
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| Today I’ve achieved absolutely nought
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| In just being out of the house, I’ve lost out
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| If I wanted to end up with more now
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| I should’ve just stayed in bed, like I know how
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| (Oi, soaked to the bone in my jeans, do you want me to stop?
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| I imagine my mums weaping right now
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| And the thousand pounds you swore, that I left on the table this morn
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| Has simply disappeared before my eyes, his eyes and yours
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| And I’m a thousand pounds poorer, a hundred thousand pennies, no more
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| A thousandth of a million quid, or two monkeys or a whole fifty scores
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| Gone withdrawn from my life, the money is no more for sure)
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| It was supposed to be so easy |