| I’m the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell
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| I’ve known her since God only knows and I won’t tell
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| I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell
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| And Shirley she knows me just as well
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| I can tell you her birthday and her daddy’s middle name
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| The uncles on her mama’s side and the ones they don’t claim
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| What she got for Christmas since 1952
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| And that’s only the beginning of the things I could tell you
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| 'Cause I’m the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell
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| I’ve known her since God only knows and I won’t tell
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| I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell
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| And Shirley she knows me just as well
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| I can tell you her favorite song and where she likes to park
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| And why to this very day she’s scared of the dark
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| How she got her nickname and that scar behind her knee
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| If there’s anything you need to know about Shirley just ask me
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| I know where she’s ticklish and her every little quirk
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| The funnies she don’t read and her number at work
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| I know what she stands for and what she won’t allow
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| The only thing that I don’t know is where she is right now
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| But I’m the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell
|
| I’ve known her since God only knows and I won’t tell
|
| I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell
|
| And Shirley she knows me just as well
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| Oh, Shirley she knows me just as well |