| There’s questions we’re always hearing every where we go
|
| Like how do I cut a record or get on a country show
|
| Well, it takes more than just ambition and three chords on an old guitar
|
| There’s a few more things you ought to learn to be a country star
|
| You got to learn to sing like Waylon or pick like Jerry Reed
|
| Yodel like Jeannie Shepard, write songs like Tom T
|
| Put a cry in your voice like Haggard, learn Spanish like Johnny R
|
| Whisper like Bill Anderson and you’ll be a country star
|
| Play piano like Ronnie Mil sap or Gilly or Jerry Lee
|
| Yo-yo like Roy Acuff or talk plain like Ralph Emery
|
| Growl like Conway Twitty, get a red, white and blue guitar
|
| Build a swimming pool like Webb did and you’ll be a country star
|
| Be tall like Sonny James is, tell jokes like Minnie Pearl
|
| Or be short like Jimmy Dickens or play five-string like Earl
|
| Get a hip band like Willie, learn to stutter like M-Mel
|
| Get a cap like Roy Clark wore or a voice like Barbara Mandrel
|
| Be rich like Eddy Arnold, say you’re makin' more than you are
|
| Get a gimmick like Charley Pride got and you’ll be a country star
|
| But if you have no talent and you’re not a male
|
| If you’re built somewhat like Dolly or have a face like Crystal Gayle
|
| Come back stage and ask for Harold, Phil, Don or Lou
|
| And we’ll see you get auditioned for the Statler Brothers Review |