| Good evening ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking
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| Welcome aboard DC-10 flight number 1313
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| We will be cruising at a height of 25,000 feet at an air speed of 600 miles per
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| hour
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| Headphones will be provided by request for a varied program of in flight music
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| Have a good flight
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| Safety belts and sickness bags, jet lag downer pills
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| Duty free, booze and fags make me feel ill
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| A vapour trail from A to B, away from normal sanity
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| It all seems so absurd to me
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| I’ve seen the carpets on the walls
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| Of hotels rooms around the world
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| I never want to hear the screams
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| Of the teenage girls in other peoples dreams
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| Spread the disease from the south China Sea to the beach hotel Malibu
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| Phone my girlfriend to ask her: 'How's her weekend ?'
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| I say: 'Hi, Terry here' - and she says: 'Terry, who (the hell are you ?)'
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| The businessmen are having fun
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| Are they on a different plane to me?
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| I’ve lost touch with reality
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| They all seem so absurd to me
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| Like well dressed chimpanzees
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| Spend and spend and spend and spend
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| Will the muzak never end?
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| Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking
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| Due to expected engine failures we will be forced to attempt an emergency
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| landing
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| Please remain seated, extinguish all cigarettes and fasten safety belts
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| Follow the emergency procedures laid out in the pamphlet located in front of
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| your seats
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| For normal breathing, oxygen masks will be released from the compartment above
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| your head
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| Please, remain calm and follow the instructions of your stewardess at all times
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| This is a recording … |