| Dear anyone who hears this
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| I’m trapped upon the island
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| The natives have gone wild and
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| They’re making bad decisions
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| Very bad decisions
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| It might be what you fed them
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| It might be what you read them
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| On the news at 10 cos
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| They don’t play well with others
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| And can’t process different colors
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| You’d best batten down the hatches
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| With fry ups and football matches
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| And imperial restoration
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| Why are you proud of the nation?
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| Little England not Great Britain
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| I am trapped upon the island
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| And where are our fearless leaders?
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| They surely won’t deceive us
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| With climate change deniers
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| And Noah’s Ark believers
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| There’s polar bears in Scotland
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| There’s vampires in London
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| There’s dinosaurs across the UK
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| That I’d hoped had gone extinct
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| And I can’t believe it
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| Or maybe I can
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| I never did put it past you
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| What have you done?
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| You idiots, what have you gone and done?
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| I’m trapped upon the island
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| I’m trapped upon the island
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| Ha ha whose idea was this?
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| Cos I feel the joke is over
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| But he’s only done a runner
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| And sold you down the river
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| So let’s hope you’re a good swimmer
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| And let’s hope you don’t eat dinner
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| Let’s hope you don’t need nothing else
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| Because you’re dying in your own shit
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| And I can’t believe it
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| Or maybe I can
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| I never did put it past you
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| What have you done?
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| You idiots, what have you gone and done?
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| I’m trapped upon the island
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| I’m trapped upon the island
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| I’m trapped upon the island
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| I’m trapped upon the island
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| I’m trapped upon the island
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| I’m trapped upon the island |