| I’m feeling so sick, someone get me a beer
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| My life is a shambles, you know I’m a Queer
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| My head it really pounds and pounds
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| Records just go round and round
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| Mom and Dad — they just hate my guts
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| The only girls I know are sluts
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| Say I’m deeply troubled
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| Oh I shake my head it just ain’t so
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| Daddy beat me with a hose
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| Got kicked out of the Webelos
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| Feeling so groovy
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| I’m feeling so groovy
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| I’m feeling so groovy it sucks
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| Phone’s disconnected, hey I’ll never learn
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| Just eleven more months 'til my income tax returns
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| I’m really not that dumb you know
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| Got lots of beer and Tuinols
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| Ran over Rin Tin Tin today
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| His Alpo’s mine now, hey it’s great
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| Say I’m deeply troubled
|
| Oh I shake my head it just ain’t so
|
| Daddy beat me with a hose
|
| Kicked out of the Webelos
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| Well I was walking down the street
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| With my head held high
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| Thinking everything was alright
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| When a big fat bird came and shit on my head
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| Man that’s the story of my life
|
| Feeling so sick, someone get me a beer
|
| My life is a shambles, you know I’m Joe Queer
|
| I’m not really that dumb you know
|
| Got lots of beer and Tuinols
|
| Ran over Rin Tin TIn today
|
| His Alpo’s mine now, hey it’s great
|
| Say I’m deeply troubled
|
| Oh I shake my head it just ain’t so
|
| I’ve gone completely out of hand
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| I want Dan Vapid in my band |