| All aboard!
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| Credit is no good for an ocean salesman.
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| How far you goin', Fred?
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| Wherever the people are as green as the money.
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| Fred.
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| What’s the matter with Fred?
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| Charlie, you’re an anvil salesman. |
| Your firm give credit?
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| No sir!
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| Nor anybody else.
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| River City! |
| Next station stop River City highway!
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| Cash for the merchandise
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| Cash for the button hooks
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| Cash for the cotton goods
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| Cash for the hard goods
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| Cash for the fancy goods
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| Cash for the soft goods
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| Cash for the noggins and the pickins and the firkins
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| Cash for the hog’s head, cask, and demi-jot
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| Cash for the crackers and the pickles and the flypaper
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| Look
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| Whattya talk, whattya talk, whattya talk, whattya talk, whattya talk?
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| Whatya gettin' at?
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| Whattya talk-
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| You can talk, you can talk
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| You can bicker, you can talk
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| You can bicker, bicker, bicker
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| You can talk, you can talk
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| You can talk talk talk talk bicker bicker bicker
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| You can talk all you want
|
| But it’s different than it was
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| No it ain’t, no it ain’t,
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| But ya gotta know the territory
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| Ch, ch, ch, ch, ch, ch
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| Why did the model t-4
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| Make the trouble, make the people want to go
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| Wanna get, wanna get, wanna get up and go
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| 7 8 9 10 12 14 22 23 miles to the county, see
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| Yes sir, yes sir
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| Who’s gonna patronize the little-bitty two-by-four kinda store anymore?
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| Whattya talk, whattya talk!
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| Whattya gettin' at?
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| Go on, go on!
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| Go on with the hog’s head, cask, and demi-jot!
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| Go on with the sugar barrel, pickel barrel, milk can!
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| Go on with the gum and the pail and the tears!
|
| Ever meet a fella by the name of hill?
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| Hill?
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| Hill?
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| Hill?
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| Hill?
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| Hill?
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| Hill?
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| Hill?
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| Hill?
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| No!
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| Just a minute just a minute just a minute!
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| Never hearda any salesman Hill
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| Now he doesn’t know the territory
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| Doesn’t know the territory
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| What’s the fella’s line?
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| Never worries 'bout his line!
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| Never worries 'bout his line
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| Not a dog-gone thing
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| He’s just a bang-beat, bell-ringin', big-hall, great go-necker, nothing
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| rit-thrower never-time-a-bullseye salesman!
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| That Professor Harold Hill, Harold Hill
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| What’s the fella’s line? |
| What’s his line?
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| He’s a fake and he doesn’t know the territory!
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| Look whattya talk, whattya talk, whattya talk, whattya talk?
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| He’s a music man
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| He’s a what?
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| He’s a what?
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| He’s a music man!
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| And he sells clarinets to the kids in the town
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| with the big trombones,
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| and the ratt-a-tatt drums.
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| Big brass bass, big brass bass!
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| And the piccolo, the piccolo,
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| with uniforms too!
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| And a shiny gold braid on the coat
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| and a big red stripe runnin'.
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| Well, I don’t know much about bands
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| But I do know you can’t make a livin' selling big trombones.
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| No, sir!
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| Mandolin' picks, perhaps,
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| and here and there a guitar.
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| No, the fella sells bands.
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| Boy’s bands!
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| I don’t know how he does it, but he lives like a king
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| and he dallies and he gathers and he plucks and he shines
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| And when the man dances, certainly boys, what else?
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| The piper pays him!
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| Yes, sir!
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| Yes sir!
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| Yes sir!
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| Yes sir!
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| When the man dances, certainly boys, what else?
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| The piper pays him!
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| Yesssssssir
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| Yessssssir
|
| But he doesn’t know the territory!
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| River City! |
| Station stop River City!
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| Oh, there’s nothing halfway
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| About the Iowa way to treat you when we treat you
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| Which we may not do at all
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| There’s an Iowa kind
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| Of special chip on the shoulder attitude we’ve never been without
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| That we recall
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| We can be cold as the falling thermometer in December if you ask about the
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| weather in July
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| And we’re so by-God stubborn we could stand
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| Touch noses for a week at a time
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| And never see eye to eye!
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| But look ahead, you’re welcome!
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| Join us at the picnic!
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| You can eat your fill of all the food you bring yourself.
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| You really ought to give Iowa a try!
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| Provided you are contrary.
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| We can be cold as the falling thermometer in December if you
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| ask about the weather in July
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| And we’re so by-God stubborn we could
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| Stand touching noses a week at a time
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| And never see eye to eye
|
| But we’ll give you our shirt
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| And a pack to go with it
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| If your crop should happen to die
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| So what the heck!
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| You’re welcome
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| Glad to have you with us!
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| Even though we may not ever mention it again
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| You really ought to give Iowa
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| Not bad Iowa
|
| If you ---?---
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| Ought to give Iowa a try! |