| Dear Santa
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| Been a long time since ya heard from me
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| And I wanna speak for every daddy (that) feels the same as me
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| The times, they are a-changin'
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| Don’t mean to put you down
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| But I spend every Christmas Eve lookin' for a part that can’t be found
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| So Santa bring and elf or three
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| Toys ain’t what they used to be
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| No ya gotta have a PHD in mechanical assembly
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| And I’ll never be able to read instructions in Taiwanese
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| Since they don’t make the toys themselves and I could use some help
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| Santa bring along your elves
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| How 'bout it, whoo
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| Shouldn’t be so hard for a saint like you
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| Please Santa
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| They probably drive you crazy with nothin' to do
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| You never have to diet with all them mouths around
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| And I’d gladly feed an army
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| Instead of spending Christmas with my face in a frown
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| Yeah, and P. S. send the Boys' regards to Mrs. Claus
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| And don’t you forget the batteries, thank you
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| Oh and if you could possibly arrange it
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| Please send me down some of them magical little dudes
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| That live in them tiny little bitty igloos
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| Up there in the middle of the North Pole
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| When they have nothin' else to do all year long
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| And help me put these toys together
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| PLEASE |