| Five in the morning, she would fix my lunch
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| Put it in a paper sack
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| Where I’m headed, I always appreciate it
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| But I’d rather stay married to my hack
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| I move like the breeze, and the birds and the bees
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| That I’ve never been known to look back
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| I got fifteen women and all of them swimming
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| But I’d rather stay married to my hack
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| I move fifteen miles every minute, I’m all smiles
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| I shoot by my sister’s shack
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| She’s got some friend who waves at men, a fine little hen
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| But I’d rather stay married to my hack
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| I got twelve-wheel drive and an oversized hive
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| And air-cooled brakes in the back
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| Candy McGraft’s always good for a laugh
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| But I’d rather stay married to my hack
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| I got a pedal to hit and an engine that won’t quit
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| And a carburetor that won’t crack
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| Maureen and Milly, they’re a little silly
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| But there’s nothing that they do lack
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| I got loose-eyed ladies who never seen a man
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| Just waiting around the back
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| Gimme a bottle or someone to throttle
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| Cause I’d rather stay married to my hack |