| I remember back in high school
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| Getting high was tons of fun
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| It’s much easier to score some weed than to drink
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| Before you’re twenty-one
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| At that age, I thought alcohol was square
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| Drinking’s something just old folks do
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| ‘Course if we got our hands on some, well hell
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| We’ll drink like old folks too
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| It’s different now when you get older
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| And you’re gettin' on in your years
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| I’ve become so much more civilized
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| Since movin' on to spirits and beers
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| So today if I wanna act an ass
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| And gag, puke, stagger and fall
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| I’m gonna do it at the trusted hands
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| Of Good Ol' Alcohol
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| That Good Ol' Alcohol
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| One more before last call
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| Can make you feel a mile high
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| If you’ve been feeling small
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| Yes, every now and then
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| I’ll call upon my friend
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| That Good Ol', Good Ol', Good Ol'
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| Alcohol
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| When I younger, my thing was hippy drugs
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| Like hashish, caps and lids
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| Had dugout with ZoSo written on it
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| Where I kept my one-hitter hid
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| Amphetamine just wasn’t my speed
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| And cocaine would make you go broke
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| But man o' man I sure could go for that
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| Marijuana smoke
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| I’d use a bong or bowl or rollin' papers
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| Or any other smoke component
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| Then I’d rip right through two boxes of
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| Entenmann’s coffee cake covered donuts
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| And if you found yourself stranded
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| With no paraphernalia at all
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| You could always poke some holes
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| Through empty cans of alcohol
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| That Good Ol' Alcohol
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| Finds you in the bathroom stall
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| With your face inside the toilet
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| Curled up in a little ball
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| Yet, once you’ve done my friend
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| You’ll come runnin' back again
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| For some Good Ol', Good Ol', Good Ol'
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| Alcohol
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| The mescaline you scored at Sheep’s Meadow
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| Looked like little candy Nerds
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| That shit’ll make you crap your pants
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| And backward speak your words
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| Ate an eighth of psychedelic mushrooms
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| At my buddy’s girlfriend’s place
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| Listened to Electric Ladyland three times over again
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| With a strobe light in my face
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| Then there was LSD, some double dipped
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| And some were window pane
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| Some Bart Simpsons, some blue unicorn
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| And ahhh some of them just plain
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| Twelve hours later trying to get high
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| On shake, seeds and stems will do, fuck all
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| Only way to ease that come down’s
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| With some Good Ol' Alcohol
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| That Good Ol' Alcohol
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| When the Doctor pays a call
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| He may offer you some Percocet
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| Or even Demerol
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| Yet, when you’re high and dry
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| Nothing else will get you by
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| Like some Good Ol', Good Ol', Good Ol'
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| Alcohol
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| There will come one morning after
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| When you will wake up and you will say
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| God damn, I’m gettin' too old for this
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| What time is it and what day
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| Where are all my God damn clothes
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| And where’s my wallet, shoes and keys
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| Where the God damn hell am I
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| And God damn it hurts when I try to pee
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| Now my liver’s limp, synapses spent
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| My nerve endings are fried
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| Got through many a trying night, the kind where
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| Stronger men have died
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| But I’ve seen it
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| Smelled it
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| Ate it
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| Tasted it
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| Lit it
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| Hit it
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| Chased it
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| Wasted it
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| Puffed it
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| Huffed it
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| Dosed and toasted it
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| Rolled it
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| Sold it
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| And tin foil bowled it
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| I’ve smoked
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| Poked
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| Copped
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| Popped
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| Mixed
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| Fixed
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| Chopped
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| Dropped
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| Licked
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| Kicked
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| Toked
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| Choked
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| Tweaked and Peaked
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| And woke and boke
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| I’ve scored it
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| And hoared it
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| I’ve snorted it
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| And sorted it
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| I’ve slipped it
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| Lipped it
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| Sipped it and roach clipped it
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| I’ve cleaned it and fiended it
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| I’ve laced it and tasted it
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| I’ve dipped it and chewed it
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| Zig zaged and bambooed it
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| I’ve cold turkey
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| I’ve restarted
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| I’ve discarded
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| And I’ve bogarted it
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| I’ve taken it
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| I’ve shaken it
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| I’ve stirred it
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| And slurred it
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| And blurred it
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| All
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| And there ain’t a God damn thing I trust as much
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| As Good Ol' Alcohol
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| That Good Ol' Alcohol
|
| One more before last call
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| Can make you feel a mile high
|
| If you’ve been feeling small
|
| Yes, every now and then
|
| I’ll call upon my friend
|
| That Good Ol', Good Ol', Good Ol'
|
| Alcohol
|
| That Good Ol', Good Ol', Good Ol'
|
| Alcohol
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| That Good Ol', Good Ol', Good Ol'
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| Alcohol
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| Smoke ‘em if you got ‘em |