| My old man’s a Viscount
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| And he wears a Viscount’s crown
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| He buys me Cardin trousers
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| Of a tasteful shade of dark brown
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| He got his blue at Oxford
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| And he pays my boating fees
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| He sends me Fortnum’s hampers
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| So that I won’t get hungry
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| He was my man and he done me wrong
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| He was my man and he done me wrong
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| My old man’s an earl now
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| And he wears an ermine gown
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| He sends me an allowance
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| To spend in Eton town
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| He drives a yellow Bentley
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| And he beats me with his wrench
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| He hires me private tutors
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| To help me in my French
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| He was my man and he done me wrong
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| He was my man and he done me wrong
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| My old girl’s a duchess
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| And she wears a Hartnell frock
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| She’s picked me out a Cheltenham girl
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| Of Suffolk breeding stock
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| My young fag’s an MP’s son
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| And he warms my toilet seat
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| I thrash him with a whip
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| To make his character complete
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| He was my man and I done him wrong
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| He was my man but it done him good |