| There is a house in Penang
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| So well known to the old gang
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| Brace yourselves, take up the slack
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| In our mouths, the rubber bits
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| Then exposed whereon one sits
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| First the swish and then the crack
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| I’ve a predilection, a liking for the pain
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| Of a taste of the cat and a touch of cane
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| Oh, play up, play up and play the game
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| Had the preference since school
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| Simply had to break the rules
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| Short sharp shocks, ah, swish, swish, swish
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| Shirt tails up, long shorts down
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| In a sleazy part of town
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| Broke a tooth? |
| — then make a wish
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| Much it costs, this little treat
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| It’s the high point of the week
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| One more drink — anaesthetised
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| It’s a very private show
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| Over the table we now go
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| Perk your bottoms and roll your eyes |