| Hello
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| My name is The Man With The Mustache
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| And if we ever met before
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| I’m sure I will see you soon
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| And I know you’ve probably been curious and scared
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| This has awoken feelings inside of your loins and private parts that you
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| haven’t experienced before
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| Understandable
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| Whisper it in my ear
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| Talk to my mustache because it hears you
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| And it listens to you
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| Where can I massage you that will ease your pain?
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| Come with me
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| And ride on my magical mustache
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| C’est fini!
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| Merci beaucoup pas tout
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| Je suis le Man With The Mustache
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| It’s ok to shave your private parts
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| Why do birds sing when I appear?
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| Man With the Mustache doesn’t have to do math
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| He has sex with ladies
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| Do that math |