Lyrics Quandary - The Last Felony

Quandary

I still remember when it started
How do we fall asleep?
Unanswered, it kept me awake
Am I a series of reactions?
A constant domino effect from the big bang
Nothing lost
Nothing gained
Everything changes
Or have I been perverting my essence since birth
With every action I regret?
Is true self a labyrinthine course towards my metaphoric heart
Or rather the whole of my destiny’s design?
Or is the whole of myself a quest to balance these states?
Therefore, I’d be a quandary
A state of perplexity or doubt
But did an enigma lay dormant until unearthed
Or did the question create the state?
Crudely said: Is it my fault?
If the answer is that there is no answer
And the question will not die, what then?
How do they pass through life with (or without) these questions?
If it would, at least, block my reasoning at myself
For if I do not understand my mind
What is it worth trying to figure out the world?
Why do I still try?
And finally, I question the very basis of the crisis
Is this a lucid state?
And what if it’s all genetic…
Depression passed down, wires shorted out
Predisposed to think?
Predisposed to be sick?
Seems like this is the deepest it goes…
My own body, which I cannot trust
So no reasoning possible
I’m forever blocked at my first step…
And sometimes I’d rather stumble like the blind
The final level of questioning
Self-doubt leads to nihilism
No knowledge will ever be gained
But with silence comes questions
Unanswered, they keep me awake…