Lyrics Malcolm Tucker - The LaFontaines

Malcolm Tucker

I lost my touch… What?
For like four or five minutes
Got it back, now I’m boasting
They say I’m hot, but I’m roasting
I’ve got so much fan mail, they call me the postman
I’m only playing with your feelings
Cause half your fan base, resides on the ceilings
Funny that, like a joke that I told at my last show, playing to the masses
So confident, so nonchalant, as a front man, I should teach classes
See, some of you don’t know what a laugh is
Or if my tongues placed in my cheek
Malcolm Tucker here, when I speak
Dr Who’s in theatre this week, get it?
PC, the worlds went mad, I draw the line at my blackboard
Never used one since primary, but as a case study that would do nicely
My arrival here was quite timely, see we started off quite tiny
Independent, they can come and find me, fuck major labels trying to refine me
But then came Mark from LAB with his little backpack, and a pitch,
that would make us see sense
Put us all up on the map, now we’re all up on the chart
Each single makes us 4 pence — Each
Balling — Like a boss, I’m Scotland’s own Rick Ross
Even my dentist hates when I floss, 15K, annual, gross, — I make that
We don’t care for what you talk about or dramatise
We don’t like you for the bullshit that you glamorise
I pushed record upon the tape, and to my surprise
I heard them say, Heard them, heard them, heard them say, I heard them.
Aha back with it, that’s a funny big on the track innit?
B-side, just flexing, because Under The Storm was for impressing
Now we’re just messing, with no thought to it, on this Fontaine train no stop
to it
And I can ride the track with no hands, I’m the main font like comic sans
Get it together, we’re about to board a plane to the states, if we keep our
little nose clean
Climbing out or seat, like Wolf Of Wall Street, banging airhostesses in the
plane scene
Font boys, and we’re living the dream, still five bad boys who live in the
scheme
Five, whatcha waiting four if you wanna
Three (three)
Two (two)
One let’s do it
We don’t care for what you talk about or dramatise
We don’t like you for the bullshit that you glamorise
I pushed record upon the tape, and to my surprise
I heard them say, Heard them, heard them, heard them say, I heard them.