Lyrics The King Who Wouldn't Smile - The Handsome Family

The King Who Wouldn't Smile

There was a king who wouldn’t smile
Sat on the toilet reading «The Trial.»
His dogs chased their tails 'round and 'round
Midget cars arrived stuffed with clowns who served him quail eggs on toast
There was a king who never laughed
Fell in love with a two-headed calf
Filled his bath with razor blades
Tattooed his arm with the ace of spades
But the grass made fun of his shoes
There was king who cried and cried
Mice crawled in his shoes to die
He cried so much that herds of deer gathered
To lick his salty tears so the king crawled under his bed
Like a fish at the bottom of a pail
Like a cricketswallowed by a whale
Like a chipmunk who’s chewed off his tail
The king who wouldn’t smile