| Well I was chasing down flies and shooting up women
|
| Trying to get the whole thing straight in my head
|
| Lookin for a girl who’d come with me swimming
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| And come and play tunes at the end of my bed
|
| And all the hardmen were drinkin down petrol
|
| Bamming up the girls when in came the law
|
| Heading for the door and getting tongue tied
|
| When they asked me what exactly I saw
|
| Chorus:
|
| So I’ll get some Monte Christo’s
|
| And we can all go see the band
|
| Well I may not be a looker yeah
|
| But I’ll help you any way I can
|
| Back at my room I was making me nervous
|
| Watching TV and picking my feet
|
| Wishing I was pretty and burning my shoes
|
| And wishing for once I’d kept the receipt
|
| I called myself and wondered out loud
|
| Tried to get the whole thing straight in my head
|
| I left the tape running and played it back
|
| Twice but I couldn’t make sense of what I had said
|
| Chorus
|
| Bridge:
|
| Well it may not make you handsome
|
| And it may not even make you feel aliiiiiiive
|
| You may not have the ransom
|
| But you can always count on this
|
| It’s him and them and she and me
|
| And sick and muddy, everybody
|
| Alt Chorus:
|
| So you can bring y
|
| our wasters banjo
|
| Bring yer sister and her friend Diane
|
| Well I may not have a big boys pistol
|
| But I’ll help them any way I can
|
| Alt Chorus 2:
|
| And you can call me Cinderella!
|
| You can make me your best man
|
| Well you may be a right old queen
|
| But I’ll help you any way I can |