| Going down Morgan with Janko, Jerko, and Jerry
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| We downed our Pils, and over at the South Shore, they sipped their sherry
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| I opened my Kaiserized speller to learn what they know:
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| Nurse killers, annexers-executioners, wo!
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| Hey Slavonians, be ye mindful
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| That our ‘tis tongue dies never
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| The happy Hun Felsch sure likes his blond beer
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| And I like his doubles so much I might even cheer
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| Last year he had enough and got fixed on the cardinal
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| Who’d pardon all
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| The riff-raff and all their sinister ways and halfs and he laughs
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| Over on 56th, and he’s got the arsenic on his left White Sock
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| And he sees the chicken stock in a big black pot
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| And he pours in the lot, but what ruined or saved the day
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| Was that the soup then turned gray, and a hundred higher-ups came
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| Back from the hospital to keep getting wafers from Mundelein:
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| But now the Gigantics are getting the tar taken out of their pine
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| By my hero Red Faber and I’m ready to get rapprochement with my neighbor
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| As part of the healthy back and forthâ€"
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| But not if he’s from up north
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| So I ask Dad, Why can’t we ever win, ever win, once?
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| Go ask Dad, why you can’t ever win, ever win, once |