| La la la la la la la la
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| You know every naughty lyric to every bawdy tune
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| I understand you’ve really been around
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| And everybody loves you 'cause you take them to the moon
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| How is it you can’t make it on the ground?
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| You’re Captain Sad on the ship of fools
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| I think you should look down
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| Cause your paper ship is soon to run aground
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| Now you’ve traveled around the world and collected all the flags
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| But the Rand-McNally globe is all you’ve seen
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| And you ramble on for hours about the stickers on your bag
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| Describing places that you’ve never been
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| You’re Captain Sad on the ship of fools
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| I think you should look down
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| 'Cause your paper ship is soon to run aground
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| Now everybody’s wishing, they could all be just like you
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| They’d sell their souls to do the things you’ve done
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| And they love to hear the stories of the two wars you’ve been through
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| But you know you never fought in either one
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| You’re Captain Sad on the ship of fools
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| I think you should look down
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| 'Cause your paper ship is soon to run aground |