| It was a grand upstanding bantam cock
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| So brisk and stiff and spry
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| With springy step and jaunty plume
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| And a purposeful look in his eye
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| In his little black blinking eye, he had
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| I took him to the coop and introduced him
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| To my seventeen wide-eyed hens
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| He tupped and he tupped as a hero tups
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| And he bowed from the waist to them all, and then
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| He upped and he tupped 'em all again, he did
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| And then upon the peace of me ducks and me geese
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| He rudely did intrude
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| With glazed eyes and open mouths
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| They bore it all with fortitude
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| And a little bit of gratitude, they did
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| He jumped my giggling guinea fowl
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| And forced his attentions upon
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| My twenty hysterical turkeys and
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| A visiting migrant swan
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| But the bantam thundered on, he did
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| He ravished my fan-tailed pigeons and
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| Me lily-white columbines
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| And while I was locking up the budgerigar
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| He jumped my parrot from behind;
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| She was sitting on me shoulder at the time
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| And all of a sudden with a gasp and a gulp
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| He clapped his hands to his head
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| Fell flat on his back with his toes in the air
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| My bantam cock lay dead
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| And the vultures circled overhead, they did
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| What a champion brute; |
| what a noble cock;
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| What a way to live and to die
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| I was diggin' him a grave to save his bones
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| From the hungry buzzards in the sky
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| When the bantam opened up a sly little eye
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| He gave me a grin and a terrible wink
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| The way that rapists do
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| He said, 'You see them big daft buggers up there?
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| They’ll be down in a minute or two;
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| They’ll be down in a minute or two.' |