| Have you seen Captain Lariat as he saunters round the room
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| Chasing spiders with a broom fending off impending doom
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| Have you seen Captain Lariat, he’s bounding round the bend
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| With his band of salty men he’s at it once again
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| Captain Lariat he’s a dentist on the side
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| And a little dash of nitrous helps to send him on his ride
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| Have you seen Captain Lariat he is flying his flag high
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| Sipping Templeton Rye there’s a glaze upon his eye
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| Have you seen Captain Lariat, he fights the noble fight
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| Gallivanting through the night just to irritate the right
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| Captain Lariat he’s a dentist on the side
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| And a little crack of amyl helps to send him on his ride
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| Although he’s never held commission, commandeered a rescue mission
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| In his mind he’s above the cut
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| He’s Captain Lariat
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| He’s Captain Lariat
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| He’s Captain Lariat
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| Have you seen Captain Lariat with his tattoo of Sean Penn
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| He’s happy once again he’s a man among his men
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| Hooray for Captain Lariat, he’s mindful of the helm
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| When he cruises through your realm, he’s bound to overwhelm
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| When he gets there he’s an oh so fancy gent
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| Never concerned about the effort or the money that he’s spent
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| Although he’s never held commission he’s seen it on reality television
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| In his mind he’s above the cut
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| He’s Captain Lariat
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| He’s Captain Lariat
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| He’s Captain Lariat |