| With my face drained of colour
|
| And my brain of blood
|
| Like Billy Budd
|
| I’m lashed to the grating;
|
| With senses growing duller
|
| And with quaking heart
|
| I make a start
|
| At temperature equating
|
| And my lungs suck useless air
|
| Like paraplegic dancers
|
| In formation team
|
| My understanding seems
|
| Hiidebound in its movements
|
| Contemplating answers
|
| That could break my bonds--
|
| To be half wrong
|
| Would be, in me, improvement…
|
| But my comprehensive faculties are impaired
|
| And it seems absurd, but now all I’ve heard
|
| Fades in empty words and is worthless
|
| As the Human Laugh rocks the cenotaph
|
| But the joke is half-true, and mirthless
|
| Trying to trace a reason
|
| From the spinning words
|
| But all I’ve heard
|
| Seem at odds with their meanings
|
| Phonetically pleasing
|
| But delivered in such haste
|
| That in their place
|
| My mind commences screaming
|
| On the verge of belief I crash onto the reef
|
| And a cynical thief steals my senses
|
| So I cling to the pew with dimensions askew
|
| And recognition refuses present tenses
|
| All the lives of the saints demonstrate that my faint
|
| Is a minor complaint, but the end is
|
| Nowhere in sight
|
| Why can’t I find me a way to go?
|
| I don’t want to die in the nave
|
| But I know it may be with me some day
|
| So I’ve got to find a way I can save up
|
| My evergies, and find a cause to pray
|
| So something for something
|
| To which I can give my creed…
|
| I’d gladly succumb to the wave
|
| If I thought the water taught a way to light;
|
| I’d gladly succumb--I'm not brave
|
| And it’s easy to believe what the preacher says
|
| Except for the conflict raging between my head
|
| And my brain
|
| I don’t want to die, but just the same--
|
| Some day…
|
| Waiting for that moment
|
| That I know will come
|
| When I’ll have to run
|
| And find another sermon…
|
| Everyman and Norman
|
| And the talking priest--
|
| Still, I am at least
|
| Holding all the doors open
|
| Inside me all outside is shared
|
| As the cracked bells peal it all seems unreal
|
| But the seventh seal stays unbroken
|
| And the Offertory plate tenders no escape--
|
| Still I refuse to scrape up a token
|
| Of esteem for these false
|
| Alleyways of the course;
|
| I must try to divorce sense from sensing
|
| Tell me again
|
| Tell me the way to go
|
| So when I talk to myself
|
| Although I take good care to listen
|
| My heart grows ever more faint--
|
| There’s something missing? |