| We’re the Beta Band and we’re nice and clean
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| We’re always polite and hardly ever mean
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| Times have changed, we used to be smelly
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| We lived in a squat 'til a punk nicked our telly
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| Since we’ve been signed we eat real good
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| We always wash our hands and chew our food
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| Quashis rotis are our favorite dish
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| Served spicy with chicken or fish
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| In the world of fashion there’s two shining lights
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| Nancy and Caroline they helped us alright
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| And Gordon Anderson played a big part
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| Just when the Beta Band was about to start
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| It all started in London town
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| When we gave our demo to Phil Brown
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| Then we met Miles at Parlophone
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| And let him hear dogs got a bone
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| He said go to Falkner and put it on wax
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| So the next week was spent cutting four tracks
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| Now a manager was needed to make us complete
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| Miles knew a Wigner we should meet
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| His name was Dave with the broken specs
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| A quiet manner and enough respect
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| We met at Nachos and cleaned the plate
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| A meal like that we’d never ate
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| Then we met Brian and the Microdot crew
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| Martin, Matt and John Plat too
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| Adrenalin Village was the place to be
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| We had no money so they got us in free
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| The first thing Dave did as boss
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| Was make us play Water Rats in Kings Cross
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| We played five songs got credit for four
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| Went down well so we decided to tour
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| Next up was Henry and Nich
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| Making the show go without a hitch
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| Up and down the country and side to side
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| With big yin driving it’s a bumpy ride
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| Miles gave us an album deal
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| We said yes and went for a meal
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| Drinking champagne at EMI
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| The irony almost made us cry
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| We went to Wales and fannyed around
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| Ended up with the Patty Patty Sound
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| With open minds we went to achieve
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| Chris Allison caught it all on Neive
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| He hummed and hawed and became a pest
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| Twittering on about the old Neive desk
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| We had to call in Keith and Miles
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| When Chris' hair got caught in the dials
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| We started to get known on Radio One
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| When Jo Whiley got a fax from my mum
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| Mary Ann Hobbs invited us to play
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| At Maida Vale we spent a day
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| With Chris Allison’s hair cut free
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| It was time for Cornwall and the third EP
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| With a glock and a sax and a mighty gong
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| All we needed was a hit pop song
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| We thought this time we were on a good start
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| But they made a new rule that banned us from the chart
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| The songs were good so we didn’t give a toss
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| And we called it Los Amigos Del Beta Bandidos |