| That old evening news is sure depressing
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| Well this world is in a mess and it don’t get better
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| Terrorism’s in fashion and making love can kill you
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| Oh but I have found a better place to go
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| We’re all living in the shadow of the bomb
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| Tuned in to the lifestyles of the rich and greedy
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| Oh but meanwhile back in Mayberry no one says the «F» word
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| Thank God for the reruns
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| On the Andy Griffith Show, Anjie’s letting Otis out of jail
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| Gomer’s helping Goober drive the nail
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| Oh and Barney’s looking for his bullet, you better watch out for your toes
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| I wish life was like the Andy Griffith Show
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| Now they’re dealing in souls on the airwaves
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| All them false prophets trying to make a buck
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| But old Floyd the barber, he just goes on trimming hair
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| And we ain’t heard the last of Ernest T. Bass you know
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| On the Andy Griffith Show, Aunt Bee’s cooking lamb and turnip greens
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| Now everyone dance while The Darling’s pick and sing
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| Yeah that Opie’s digging worms to go fishing don’t ya know
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| I wish life was like the Andy Griffith Show
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| Thelma Lou told Juanita to call Helen Crump
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| Then round up Clara and Emmett and Howard Sprague
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| There’s a town meeting down at Andy’s office
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| Barney’s gonna try to take us all back in time
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| To the Andy Griffith Show, the biggest hassle there was making moonshine
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| They sat swinging on the porch with an easy mind
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| Oh and maybe it was unreal but when this old world blows
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| I hope I end up on the Andy Griffith Show
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| I wish life was like the Andy Griffith Show |