| Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical
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| Science in the home
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| Late nights all alone with a test-tube ohh oh oh oh
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| Maxwell Edison majoring in medicinem
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| Calls her on the phone
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| Can I take you out to the pictures, Joan?
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| But as she’s getting ready to go
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| A knock comes on the door
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| Bang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer
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| Came down upon her head
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| Bang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer
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| Made sure that she was dead
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| Back in school again Maxwell plays the fool again
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| Teacher gets annoyed
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| Wishing to avoid an unpleasant scene
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| She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away
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| So he waits behind
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| Writing 50 times «I must not be so"oh oh oh But when she turns her back on the boy
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| He creeps up from behind
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| Bang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer
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| Came down upon her head
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| Do do do do do Bang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer
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| Made sure that she was dead
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| P.C. |
| Thirty-One said «We caught a dirty one»
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| Maxwell stands alone
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| Painting testimonial pictures ohh oh oh oh
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| Rose and Valerie screaming from the gallery
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| Say he must go free (Maxwell must go free)
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| The judge does not agree and he tells them so oh oh oh But as the words are leaving his lips
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| A noise comes from behind
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| Bang, bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer
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| Came down upon his head
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| Do do do do do Bang, Bang, Maxwell’s silver hammer
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| Made sure that he was dead
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| Wow wow wow oh!
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| Do do do do do Silver hammer Max |