| If you want to wear a hat
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| You’d better get one that looks better than that
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| Or on second thought, the hat upon your head
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| Would look good with a feather instead
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| Then you need to ask a bird
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| Which is more complicated than you have heard
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| For the birdie will not cooperate
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| Unless you guarantee the going rate
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| So you need to get a job
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| For that, you must stop dressing like a slob
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| As the suit that you are wearing, my friend
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| Makes me think that you are trying to offend
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| When a suit is what you need to wear
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| Get one that makes you look like a square
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| And if you want some visual relief
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| Change the color of your handkerchief
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| If you want to wear a hat
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| But you didn’t know it was as difficult as that
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| Keep in mind what your brother man said
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| Let the sunshine shine upon your head
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| If you want to wear a hat
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| You didn’t know it was as difficult as that |