| It was the Seventh of December in the middle of the night
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| The street was deserted except for smoke and moonlight
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| The front of the papers read the latest scandal
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| The people versus when the dog chewed the handle
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| It’s a strange kind of story as far as stories go
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| It’s the tale of a man and his trusty fido
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| With police to the left of him, on the right a dead vandal
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| The only excuse was that the dog chewed the handle
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| With the stick de la candle
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| Or the study maybe strangled
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| The professor with the pistol
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| Oh no the dog chewed the handle
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| He’s got his integrity, don’t need no excuse
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| You can’t say different got to let him loose
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| The guy shouldn’t’ve been there but he chose to gamble
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| Heads you win, tails the dog chews the handle
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| I suppose if I’d thought I shouldn’t leave them together
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| Grip made of bone and a holster that’s leather
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| Freak kind of accident that sets an example
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| Dogs like bones that’s why the dog chewed the handle
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| With the stick de la candle
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| Or the study maybe strangled
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| The professor with the pistol
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| Oh no the dog chewed the handle
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| Oh look at it from my angle
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| Oh just look at it
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| With the stick de la candle
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| Or the study maybe strangled
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| The professor with the pistol
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| Oh no the dog chewed the handle. |
| (x2)
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| Oh look at it from my angle
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| Oh just look at it… |