| Seat 2C, Oslo to Warsaw, Norwegian Air
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| It’s 9am and I’m yawning
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| Next to a perky young girl with beautiful long blonde hair
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| She’s playing a game on her phone and chewing on her Danish
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| The little girl behind me has a demonic cough
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| And she sounds like Linda Blair in The Exorcist
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| «Blaaaaagh! |
| Blaaaaagh! |
| Blaaaaagh! |
| Blaaaaagh! |
| Blaaaaagh! |
| Blaaaaagh!
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| Blaaaaaaaaaagh!»
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| I hope it’s just a common cold and nothing too serious
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| If it’s a serious medical condition, I hope the Lord blesses her
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| Last time I played Poland was with Justin from Godflesh
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| I couldn’t pronounce the name of the town to save my life or the venue
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| But we headlined a metal fest
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| The names of the other bands I don’t know
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| But I do remember the aggressive sound of their names
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| Cryptdeath Motheroffuck Lord fuck Lord fuck Lord
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| Blaaaaagh!
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| I don’t know much about Poland, other than Andrew Golota’s boxing style
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| He put his left jab out like a kitten trying to paw a bed sheet hanging out to
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| dry
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| And his glass chin a very easy target to find
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| He quit after round two with Mike Tyson
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| He was on his ass, his eyes bulging with fright
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| And Lennox Lewis dropped him in round one
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| He looked like a kid getting knocked on his ass by his daddy
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| When his daddy came home drunk
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| But I have a soft spot for Andrew because the great fighters, he never dodged
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| And I thought it was mean how his fans pelted him with garbage
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| During his walkout after he lost to Mike Tyson
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| Facing Tyson was a very brave thing to do
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| Yea, he was overmatched
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| But I found the audience’s behavior after the fight disgraceful and rude
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| Though our local sports heroes are often times flawed, show them love and
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| support
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| Be kind, take the high road, be a good sport
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| I think in that Tyson fight, Golota’s brains might have become unglued
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| He wasn’t quite the same after that
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| It could have been that beating he took, I have no clue
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| But those people throwing things at him
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| Was despicable and bullying at its worst
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| He was fighting Mike Tyson and representing your country
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| And his fans humiliated him by adding hurt to his already hurt
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| And yeah, when Lennox dropped him in round one
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| I felt an even stronger connection with Golota
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| ‘Cause he went out there determined as Raging Bull, but like a lamb he got
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| slaughtered
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| His weakness was that chin and that clumsy left
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| And those low blows to Riddick Bowe were his only weapon
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| His only defense, he was clearly overmatched
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| He is imperfect, as we all are
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| Let’s face it, we’re all scared little girls and boys
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| So everybody right now, for Andrew Golota, make some fucking noise
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| So right now, for Andrew Golota, make some fucking noise
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| Other than Andrew Golota, I don’t know much about Poland
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| I’m told my ancestors were from there, and I guess that’s saying something,
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| I know
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| I gotta admit, I never looked too deeply into it
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| Though I’m told, before my name became Kozelek apparently it was actually
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| Koziołek
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| And there was a time that I played the OFF Festival in the summer in Katowice
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| I played a seated venue
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| And a Polish woman cooked Italian food for me
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| And I’ve been to Italy more times than I could ever count
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| And that Polish woman cooked the best lasagna I ever had
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| And that’s no fucking joke
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| But I shared a taxi to the airport with Owen Ashworth and Ben Gibbard
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| I said, «Owen, did you ever notice how much Poland looks like Ohio?»
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| He said, «Yeah, it does» and that’s all he said
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| Owen Ashworth is a great songwriter from Chicago, Illinois if you never heard
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| of him
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| Now everybody that shows some gratitude for the beautiful things in the world
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| The lovely cornfields along the highways and the meals that the kind people
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| prepare for us
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| And the audience who come to our countries who play beautiful music for us
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| And the fans who come out to our shows and pay the ticket and pay attention and
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| listen to us
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| We’re in this life once, so let’s absorb what’s around us
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| And not make a fuss over the little things
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| We may live to be old or tomorrow we might get hit by a bus
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| I got a lot of love for all people
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| Yeah, I got a lot of love, I got a lot of love, even for the imperfect |
| low-blowing Andrew Golota
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| I got a lot of love for you, all you people here in Warsaw, Poland
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| If I gotta be honest, there’s only one thing I’ll tell you that I don’t love at
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| all
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| It’s the music of Steely Dan, it makes my skin crawl
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| Well I gotta be honest, there’s another thing that I don’t love at all
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| It’s the music of the Eagles
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| It makes me wanna put my fist through a wall
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| Now I’m gonna mention a song that I love very much
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| AC/DC's «A Touch Too Much»
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| Now I’m gonna mention a couple of songs that I love very much
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| Neil Young’s «Harvest Moon» and also «After the Gold Rush»
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| Now I’m gonna mention a song that I know we all love very very much
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| How can we not?
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| ZZ Top, «I Ain’t Asking For Much»
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| Now I’m gonna mention a song by Queen, that I love very much
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| «Find me somebody to love
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| Find me somebody to love
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| Find me somebody to love
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| Find me somebody to love
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| Find me somebody to love
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| Find me somebody to love
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| Find me somebody to love
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| Find me somebody to love
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| Find me somebody to love»
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| Now I’m gonna mention another song by Led Zeppelin that we all love very much
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| «A whole lotta love, baby baby baby babe, I got a whole lotta love,
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| got a whole lotta love»
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| Now I’m gonna mention a song from an album of mine that I know you all love
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| very much
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| «I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
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| I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
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| I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
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| I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
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| I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
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| I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
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| I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
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| I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
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| I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
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| I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
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| I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
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| I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
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| I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
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| I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
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| I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
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| I love you baby forever and beyond eternity
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| I love you baby forever and beyond eternity» |