| i’ve got what letters one would need to spell winter
|
| safe in the belly of a white paperpinch
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| i hurried folding
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| this is exactly the sort of mood that
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| i cannot watch movies in
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| boys nerves all yelling «arm» into the blood brain barrier
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| ganging up on now inside the big bone holding up my face…
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| my father was born in the 40's
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| they had just finished erecting the oakland apartment
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| i now live in…
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| since then…
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| two single mothers and a man who cut his face have lived there.
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| day after day…
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| this is the day after desperate
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| my room has filled with
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| day and night
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| and night and day
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| since then…
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| my father has called twice and left a message
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| the electricity is on…
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| these are the least of my worries
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| the moles on my penis remind me of skulls
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| and all the doctors who would quickly
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| cut them off and eat them
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| as they take down art in hotel hallways
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| probably to the tune of plain old heart failure on a rollaway
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| they hurt in the dull
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| at the hinge to both eyes
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| the no place of an ache
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| where you push and pull when trying to fall asleep
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| soon things kick in severly at the nape
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| of my patience
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| as the worm inside my spine contracts
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| i see me pouring cum out of
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| the corner of a dug up shoebox
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| across the hope lump of an old pet
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| onto a large bundle of grain
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| i think what’s wrong with the world
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| has to do with those who fell in love with new york
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| or los angeles or paris and jerusalem
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| and me of course
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| flagged in modern sneakers
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| and perfume of my morgue mouth meat adore…
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| if i could only travel back in time and kick my mother in the face after
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| a permanent
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| this would nothing
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| and feel better or worse
|
| in the necessary softening of all my bones
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| there is more to life than manicured vaginas and a saline solution
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| the no place of an ache dangles
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| body all around it.
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| i’ve got no new spelling of the word winter
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| for the me on the other end of this airplane. |