Lyrics Killing Myself To Live - Stillwell

Killing Myself To Live

So now I’m faced with a decision to make
I’m living in a race swimming with sinning and hate
Grinning with fakes in the middle of a prison escape
Incarcerated by my own thoughts
Haunted with the feeling that my lifetime has grown short
It’s the beginning of the end for me until they empty me
I fear the destiny of God and the Devil himself that have sent for me
Cut to the chase at my birth
Cut from the face of the Earth
Cut from the grace of the church
Cut through the waiste 'till it hurts
No one around wants to help restore me
Let’s face it, a man’s downfall makes for a better story
The media will make a mockery out of the pain in my life
And you can tune into the amusement on Entertainment Tonight
bad chemicals
Became a grand spectacle, a punchline for the whole crowd to laugh hysterical
Money, trash, and women with substance addictions
Trapped in a chase trying to run from afflictions
Drug dependencies, suicidal tendencies
how could it ever be?
Pretend celebrities with their lives in jepordy
Sucess was the end of me
Killing myself to live
Alone in a crowded room
Killing myself to live
All the voices in my head say
Killing myself to live
I’m going through a
Killing myself to live
I swear I’ll change tomorrow
Killing myself to live
I look for silence in some organized religion
The more my eye twitches seem the more I despise the living
My blasphemous past made blasphemous cash
Now it’s all stacked in the trash, my actions are trashed
I’m running with the sheep
Blessed all the meat
Tongue’s possessing my speech
Part of an extraterrestral freak
Got my sins deleted from God’s computer
Same God that bombs intruders of other God disputers
My rock 'n' roll money was given to the law
And seeing the police driving an automobile he shouldn’t afford
They stood and applaud the words I couldn’t absorb
'Cause the hood here in the broad is all good
I’m in a haze again
Return to my wicked ways again
Stricken from his praise again
Ripping the page condemned
Standing in darkness doing cuts my frown
Hands of darkness crucifiction upside down
Rebound of obsession sleeping deep down in regression
Found perfection in a
If you can’t beat it, join it
Smoke it, drink it, fly off the injection depression
Man, what a rush life’s in a flush
The grandness of the rush, stranded I’m standing
It’s so easy to do wrong, so easy to spew hate
I can’t leave it and move on, believe me it’s too late
That’s when I’m approached by the man from the network
Said if I could maintain the madness, man I could get work
They’re gonna cut me a big cheque to invade my privacy
Put me on the TV and claim demons inside of me
Being myself is a surreal life
Feels like my shield’s died
Empty’s how I feel inside
All of the players crying I needed this end to reality TV celebrity died
meaningless