| I got this wild woman lover, she’s as strange as any other
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| And she’s always making fun outta me
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| She got this foul-tempered, distempered, flea-infested dog
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| Who likes to sit and watch TV
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| He has this habit of destroying my guitars to get even with me, oh
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| But that’s only after Stevie’s put a boot in his face
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| Well my gal must weigh a ton but she insists that she’ll never diet
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| I’d like to stick her with a pin to see her burst and some day I think I might
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| And when she leaps into the bath it’s a belly-aching laugh
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| Oh it’s something you all oughta see
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| And whenever she’s hungry, she hits me with a cane
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| Oh she’s such a barrel of fun
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| Oh that’s why I’ll hang around from here to eternity, oh forever
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| Well she beats me like a slave and in the yard she’s even plotted my grave,
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| can you believe it?
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| I been verboten, forgotten and I’ve always had my own life to save
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| When I was putting out the cat one night
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| She kicked me out and wouldn’t let me get back in
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| It was seven below and I froze to the skin
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| Well she only relented when I swore she was the double of Brigitte Bardot
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| Then I had to make a little love but I wasn’t too slow, you know
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| I coulda claimed I had another migraine but she’d only have yelled, oh
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| She treats me like a dog that she dragged in from a bog
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| Oh she’s such a barrel of fun
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| Oh that’s why I’ll hang around from here to eternity
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| Oh she pokes out my eyes, surprise, surprise
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| Oh she’s such a barrel of fun
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| That’s why I’ll hang around from here to eternity, ooo
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| Forever, she’s such fun
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| She’s a barrel of fun |