| Tulane and Johnny opened a novelty shop
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| Back under the counter, was the cream of the crop
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| Everything was clickin' and the business was good
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| 'Til one day, lo and behold, an officer stood
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| Johnny jumped the counter but he stumbled and fell
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| But Tulane made it over Johnny as he yelled
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| Go ahead on, Tulane, he can’t catch up with you
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| Go Tulane, he ain’t man enough for you
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| Go Tulane, use all the speed you got
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| Go Tulane, you know you need a lot
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| Go Tulane, he’s laggin' behind
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| Go 'head on, Tulane go head on
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| Go by your father’s house and tell him business is slow
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| And see if he will loan us something, soon as he hits the dough
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| Put the cat out in the hall and rumple up the room
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| Go by Doctor Keller’s, tell him you swallowed some perfume
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| Tell him we need him quick, ''cause he may have to testify
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| That you been sick all day and that’s a perfect alibi
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| Go ahead on, Tulane, he can’t catch up with you
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| Go Tulane, he ain’t man enough for you
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| Go Tulane, use all the speed you got
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| Go Tulane, you know you need a lot
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| Go Tulane, he’s laggin' behind
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| Go 'head on, Tulane go head on
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| Go, let Danny drive in case you run into the Man
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| Back by the shop and git the stuff and hide it in the van
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| Go back by your father’s, get the money for the bail
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| And bring it down and bail me out this rotten, funky jail
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| We gotta get a lawyer in the click of politics
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| Somebody who can win the thing or get the thing fix
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| Go ahead on, Tulane, he can’t catch up with you
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| Go Tulane, he ain’t man enough for you
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| Go Tulane, use all the speed you got
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| Go Tulane, you know you need a lot
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| Go Tulane, he’s laggin' behind
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| Go 'head on, Tulane go head on
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| Go Tulane
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| -aca |