Lyrics A Cold, Cold Christmas - Stephen Colbert

A Cold, Cold Christmas

I want a cold cold Christmas
I hope it’s 20 below
Let a winter storm bury all that’s warm
In a bone-chilling blanket of snow
Thought you would love me forever
Turns out you wanted to part
Now I want a cold cold Christmas
To go with your cold cold heart
Oh I want a cold cold Christmas
One that’s bitter and barren and bleak
Where the weather’s foul and the west winds howl
And the sun doesn’t shine for a week
You hung up my heart like a stocking
Then went and stuffed it with coal
Now I want a cold cold Christmas
To gnaw at the depths of your soul
I’ll be alone this Christmas
You’d think it would cut like a knife
But I’m numb inside cause a part of me’s died
From the frostbit you spread on my life
Darlin', Christmas with you, I used to lov it so
We’d trade presents and kiss beneath the mistletoe
I said I loved you and you said you loved me too
Remember, I said I loved you, and you said you loved me too?
Those days are over now but I still want you to know
Even though I’m not the one you’ll be kissin' beneath that mistletoe
I’ll be thinking of you every minute on this day of love and cheer
And every minute of every other day of the year
I’m serious
So cold that it pierces your body
So cold that it hurts every breath
In fact I wouldn’t mind if you woke up to find
Your new man had frozen to death
So go have a cold cold Christmas
A blustery landscape of pain
Though I’m warm in my skin
I’m still snowed in
By the blizzard that fell in my brain
Only a week until New Year
That’s when I’ll make a new start
But first comes a cold cold Christmas
To go with your cold cold heart
Your frozen, nasty heart