Lyrics A Portrait Of (Rearranged 2018) - Sorority Noise

A Portrait Of (Rearranged 2018)

I’ve been feeling suicidal
And if I need remind you
It’s not the coming of my heart and my brain
I was thinking about how great
It would be if I could make the tightness in my chest go away
It’s been a while since I’ve seen God
And I’m not trying to lead him on
But he’s always trying to fuck me
To the tune of my favorite song
And they’re playing «The '59 Sound» in heaven
While the angels were drinking up whiskey and Cokes
It’s hard to freeze your anxieties
When your best friends' torching your coat
Your coat
Drop that phone, drink a glass of water
And call me when you get in your bed
I’ve seen inside your head
And I’m doing the surgery on the parts
That still wish you were dead
'Cause I’ve lost too many friends
So I’ll say it again and again
And again and again
And again and again
And again and again
I’m not trying to say it’s easy
But I’m trying to say it’s fine
I’ve still got your demons
And they’re not gonna be leaving any time
Any time soon
Any time soon
Any time soon
Any time soon
I’m not trying to say it’s easy
But I’m trying to say it’s fine
Since I was thirteen I’ve dealt with manic depression and I had a difficult
time comprehending the things that I wanted to be and I lived a very happy life
and I was turning eighteen and I was doing everything I could to try to make
myself feel better but I felt an absence, I felt like I needed to die,
I felt like nothing existed and I felt that I wasn’t worthwhile breathing the
same air as the ones I loved and my family, and then it came to the point where
I started losing friends who had the same fucking ideas as myself but I have to
be strong and I have to live my life as a continuation of theirs lost and I
have to do everything in my fucking power to be the person that I can be and
live my life the best way I fucking can and some days it’s so hard to fucking
stand and fucking stand and fucking stand and fucking stand