| Momma told me, «Boy, you best behave
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| 'Cause Santa keeps a list of all his faves
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| And if you don’t shape up, you ain’t gettin' squat.»
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| But the devil on my shoulder’s gettin' hot
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| Hotter than heaven, cool outta sight
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| If I’m gonna do wrong, I’m gonna do it right
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| So he took me for a ride in his Cadillac
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| Stolen from a kleptomaniac at a horse-race track
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| I said, «Sir, it’s Christmas Eve, I should be home in bed.»
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| Instead, he said, «You merry gentlemen always bet on red.»
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| The duke of deception, malice, and spite
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| If I’m gonna do wrong, I’m gonna do it right
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| When you’re done, you’re really done
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| Will you look back and say, «Hey, that was fun.»
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| When all you ever wanted was a BB gun
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| Santa Claus never did come
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| When you’re done, you’re really done
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| Will you look back and say, «Hey, that was fun.»
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| So he took me for a ride in his big ol' sleigh
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| We flew around the world in just one day
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| Johnny Mathis sang
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| I said, «Sir, what you got for me in that sled?»
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| Instead, he said, «Boy, you been bettin' on a darker shade of red.»
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| Hotter than heaven, cool outta sight
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| Duke of deception, malice, and spite
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| Johnny is singin'
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| (Johnny is singin')
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| Remember tonight
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| If you gotta do wrong
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| You better do it right |