| It was the man from Ironbark who struck the Sydney town,
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| He wandered over street and park, he wandered up and down.
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| He loitered here, he loitered there, till he was like to drop,
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| Until at last in sheer despair he sought a barber’s shop.
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| ''Ere! |
| shave my beard and whiskers off, I’ll be a man of mark,
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| I’ll go and do the Sydney toff up home in Ironbark.'
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| The barber man was small and flash, as barbers mostly are,
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| He wore a strike-your-fancy sash, he smoked a huge cigar:
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| He was a humorist of note and keen at repartee,
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| He laid the odds and kept a 'tote', whatever that may be,
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| And when he saw our friend arrive, he whispered 'Here's a lark!
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| Just watch me catch him all alive, this man from Ironbark.'
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| There were some gilded youths that sat along the barber’s wall,
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| Their eyes were dull, their heads were flat, they had no brains at all;
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| To them the barber passed the wink, his dexter eyelid shut,
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| 'I'll make this bloomin' yokel think his bloomin' throat is cut.'
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| And as he soaped and rubbed it in he made a rude remark:
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| 'I s’pose the flats is pretty green up there in Ironbark.'
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| A grunt was all reply he got; |
| he shaved the bushman’s chin,
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| Then made the water boiling hot and dipped the razor in.
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| He raised his hand, his brow grew black, he paused awhile to gloat,
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| Then slashed the red-hot razor-back across his victim’s throat;
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| Upon the newly shaven skin it made a livid mark
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| No doubt it fairly took him in -- the man from Ironbark.
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| He fetched a wild up-country yell might wake the dead to hear,
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| And though his throat, he knew full well, was cut from ear to ear,
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| He struggled gamely to his feet, and faced the murd’rous foe:
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| 'You've done for me! |
| you dog, I’m beat! |
| one hit before I go!
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| I only wish I had a knife, you blessed murdering shark!
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| But you’ll remember all your life, the man from Ironbark.'
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| He lifted up his hairy paw, with one tremendous clout
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| He landed on the barber’s jaw, and knocked the barber out.
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| He set to work with tooth and nail, he made the place a wreck;
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| He grabbed the nearest gilded youth, and tried to break his neck.
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| And all the while his throat he held to save his vital spark,
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| And 'Murder! |
| Bloody Murder!' |
| yelled the man from Ironbark.
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| A peeler man who heard the din came in to see the show;
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| He tried to run the bushman in, but he refused to go.
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| And when at last the barber spoke, and said, ''Twas all in fun
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| 'Twas just a little harmless joke, a trifle overdone.'
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| 'A joke!' |
| he cried, 'By George, that’s fine; |
| a lively sort of lark;
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| I’d like to catch that murdering swine some night in Ironbark.'
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| And now while round the shearing floor the list’ning shearers gape,
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| He tells the story o’er and o’er, and brags of his escape.
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| 'Them barber chaps what keeps a tote, By George, I’ve had enough,
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| One tried to cut my bloomin' throat, but thank the Lord it’s tough.'
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| And whether he’s believed or no, there’s one thing to remark,
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| That flowing beards are all the go way up in Ironbark. |