| Please don’t have to make me go in to detail
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| When I say I came out of my dads hone
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| Now I’m in a race with these tadpoles, speeding through the fallopian
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| I need to beat all the rest of these babies
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| Mum had a positive pregnancy test last week
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| Two months down the line I’ve got a heartbeat
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| But I got a piece of skin between my legs man, I can’t be a daughter
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| I’m breathing, but I’m in a bag of water
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| Foods coming through my umbilical cord, the years 1−9-8−2
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| I can’t wait to make my debut
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| I hope I got one of them good mums
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| Nineteenth day of the ninth my day comes
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| I finally come out after hours of trying
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| The nurse slap me, then I started crying
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| Couple hours later, I’m in a incubator
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| A bit bigger than an A4 sheet of paper
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| Loads of people kept coming up to me and saying «goo goo ga ga»
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| Why can’t they speak to me properly?
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| I’m a celebrity, get me out of here
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| Mum don’t forget your Lucozade, flowers and your grapes
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| These giants keep coming in different sizes and shapes
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| And talking to me like I’m from the Planet of the Apes
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| But, it don’t matter, I got the X Factor
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| Even Simon Cowell knows I’m the best rapper
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| We left mother’s hospital went to the flat in Old Street
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| Then my mum got cold feet
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| We had a problem, I kept climbing on the windowsill
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| So we moved to a house in Tottenham
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| Got chicken pox so we went to the surgery
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| Couple years past picky skin fade in nursery
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| Sitting in class playing with Fisher Price tools
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| Two two; |
| s I moved to Primary school
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| I went to the school next door to Northumberland
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| My piece changed from a little hot dog into a Cumberland
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| Ready to feed it to the big chicks
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| Secondary school I was a bad boy at English
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| If you listened to Jungle you was top boy in form
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| Then all of a sudden some new music was born
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| I need to, have a name or something
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| This Machino Joe shit ain’t the one man
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| What should I change my name to?
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| I need to be a king in this, or some kinda like wizard or something
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| Yeah yeah, Sceptre, Sceptre
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| Yeah Sceptre on the mic
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| Nah nah nah
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| I need to change the spelling of that
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| Wait
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| S-C, no
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| Skepta, Skepta
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| Yeah that’s me blud
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| Skepta, whut
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| S-K-E-P-T-A, yeah
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| (Serious, big boy soldier) |