| Step right up, hurry hurry, before the show begins, my friend
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| Stand in line, get your tickets, I hope you will attend
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| It’ll only cost you fifty cents to see
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| What life has done to those like you and me
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| See the man, with a broken heart you’ll see that he is sad
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| He hurts so bad
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| See the girl who has lost the only love she ever had
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| There’s got to be no sadder show to see
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| No doubt about it satisfactions guaranteed
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| So let the side show begin hurry hurry, step right on in
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| Can’t afford to pass it by, guaranteed to make you cry
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| Side show begin (hurry hurry) step right on in
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| Can’t afford to pass it by, guaranteed to make you cry
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| See the man, who’s been crying, for a million years
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| So many tears
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| See the girl, who’s collecting broken hearts for souvenirs
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| It’s more exciting than a one man band
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| The saddest little show in all the land |